There may be moments when you or a family member suddenly feel an overwhelming sense of loss and you feel strong emotions. I have had those moments, too. It was good when I had one of those moments last week and I finally cried for a few minutes. I had not cried for the two weeks prior and had been "staying strong" and "staying positive", but the counts of active cases in our area suddenly jumped and it felt overwhelming. I don't typically watch the news, but I have felt the need to check the local and national news every day with all of the new information coming out.
Last week, before I let myself cry that day, I got frustrated with one of my children about something and snapped at them and we had to stop what school work we were working on and just take a break. I took a few minutes to think and shed a few tears, but then I realized the true reason why I was frustrated. It helped me to name what I was frustrated with and it was not my child, it was this unknown virus and the unknown future of it. It's hard to deal with something that we cannot see, but is affecting so many aspects of our every day life. I had the opportunity to take part in a Zoom meeting where a supportive community of friends from around the world talked about how they were coping and we participated in a short meditation exercise where we focused on our own breathing and naming some of the emotions we were feeling. I came away with a more peaceful heart, realizing that I do have these fears and yet today, I am okay.
I went back and communicated to my child that I had decided to check the number of active COVID-19 cases in our state when I was sitting there with him and it had upset me. I apologized because it was not him that upset me but my gut reaction to the news. I'm trying to limit my exposure to the news about the Coronavirus COVID-19, choosing to check on it just twice a day for about 20 minutes or less. That is helpful. I am intentionally focusing on the news about my state and the overall nation, but not spending a lot of energy reading about other areas of the country because it just increases my own anxiety. I also will be more intentional about when I check the updated news each day and not do it in the middle of helping one of my kids! My anxiety had suddenly increased about the Coronavirus, but the anxiety showed up in me getting frustrated with my child. I was glad that I could take a moment to recognize this and go back and explain, so our relationship was set right again.
All of us have lost something in this time. We collectively grieve the losses of many lives around the globe. We may know someone who has become sick or who has lost someone from this virus. Even the loss of our normal social activities outside of our homes, work, school, jobs, finances, or routines still feel like losses to each of us. We have lost the security that we can go out in public to shop for groceries and not be worried about how close we are to other people. We have lost our freedom to go do things that we need or enjoy doing. Many of us have also lost time with our families, as we try to stay apart to protect the more vulnerable. So many losses at once can weigh down heavily upon each one of us.
Tips for dealing with grief:
- Take a few moments to close your eyes and breathe, to feel how you are doing in that moment, without judging yourself
- Name your feelings and fears
- Write them out, put them all there on the page, and then leave them
- Pray and talk to God about it
It's a strange time and we will have grief, but God sees our tears and understands. John 11:35 says, "Jesus wept." Yes, it's the shortest verse in the Bible, but it is very important because it shows us that when Jesus lost a good friend who had died, he wept, like us. He understands our grief. Isaiah 53:3 describes Jesus as "despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief." He goes on to write in verse 4, "Surely He has born our griefs and carried our sorrows." Jesus suffered greatly, for us. This week, as we look toward Easter, we may have a new understanding of loss. On Good Friday, Jesus gave everything for us. He understands our loss and loves each one of us so much that he suffered loss for us. Joshua 1:9 says, "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." May it comfort you that Jesus understands and will walk through this trying time with you.
